Who are you?
I know who you are.
You sit next to me in class,
You were my lab partner one.
I like you a lot, I think.
But what is this feeling in my chest?
That burning in my esophagus,
Like I'm going to vomit,
When you're at a different table with Her,
Being lab partners and laughing.
The aching in my heart when you smile at her,
Working together and not even caring that my
Mind can't focus on anything but your face.
I catch myself staring when you take notes,
And talk across the table to the others.
And when you laugh, your curls bounce,
Up and down, up and down.
That mischievous glint in your eye during class,
It's so irresistible, that sometimes I find your face
In my dreams.
I want to sit with you every week,
And I find myself wondering if I look okay,
Wearing nail polish just for you,
In hopes you'll notice it, even if for a second.
Forgetting to take notes on the lecture,
Because I'm watching you form the corner of my eye.
But I feel my fists clench under the table when you
Act silly with her, because I never got that treatment.
I wonder (and it kills my heart in the process),
Do you like her more than me?
Should I be more like her?
I hurt every time I happen to (always) see it.
Am I too stern, too serious?
I just wish she'd never come back,
And you'd want to be with me every time,
Smiling your smile and laughing with your head back,
Curls bobbing up and down.
I don't know what this acidic feeling is in my core--
It's like a weed, a terrible infection of the soul,
It makes me want to die or, even better,
Make her stay away from you.
She's a decent girl,
But every time I see you both together,
This feeling flares up.
I think I finally know what it is...