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October 13, 2010
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Who are you?
I know who you are.
You sit next to me in class,
You were my lab partner one.
I like you a lot, I think.

But what is this feeling in my chest?
That burning in my esophagus,
Like I'm going to vomit,
When you're at a different table with Her,
Being lab partners and laughing.

The aching in my heart when you smile at her,
Working together and not even caring that my
Mind can't focus on anything but your face.
I catch myself staring when you take notes,
And talk across the table to the others.

And when you laugh, your curls bounce,
Up and down, up and down.
That mischievous glint in your eye during class,
It's so irresistible, that sometimes I find your face
In my dreams.

I want to sit with you every week,
And I find myself wondering if I look okay,
Wearing nail polish just for you,
In hopes you'll notice it, even if for a second.
Forgetting to take notes on the lecture,
Because I'm watching you form the corner of my eye.

But I feel my fists clench under the table when you
Act silly with her, because I never got that treatment.
I wonder (and it kills my heart in the process),
Do you like her more than me?
Should I be more like her?

I hurt every time I happen to (always) see it.
Am I too stern, too serious?
I just wish she'd never come back,
And you'd want to be with me every time,
Smiling your smile and laughing with your head back,
Curls bobbing up and down.

I don't know what this acidic feeling is in my core--
It's like a weed, a terrible infection of the soul,
It makes me want to die or, even better,
Make her stay away from you.

She's a decent girl,
But every time I see you both together,
This feeling flares up.

I think I finally know what it is...

Jealousy.
:iconcalixlove:
Don't you make me tell you about who he is. He's just that boy, that boy who has my heart in his pocket and doesn't even know it. But slowly, I think he rips pieces off of it and gives them to that girl, that girl with the glasses.
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love 1 1 joy 2 2 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconmusicmakesme:
This Is Completely Phenomenol.
I Absolutely Adore It. I Hate The Feeling,
And You Described Everything So Perfectly,
Memories Were Aroused.
<3
I Wish I Could Write This Well.
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:iconcalixlove:
~CalixLove Oct 24, 2010  Student Writer
I'm sure you can! It took me a long time to get to my... mediocre level of talent.

Thank you, thank you. Writings from the heart come out best sometimes.
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:iconmelenjoy:
Jealousy is one of those emotions that I'm just a little to familiar with :(
I can wholeheartedly relate to the poem and the only advise I can give on to anyone reading this is erm, not hit the other girl in question! lol teehee it was okay as she is one of my best friends but still, not the brightest thing I've ever done, even if it was a mistake....-ish :giggle:
But anyway, great poem, very nicely writen and excellently portrayed :love:
p.s. the boy in question for me also had curly hair :P :blowkiss:
Reply
:iconcalixlove:
~CalixLove Oct 19, 2010  Student Writer
Thank you for the wonderful comment! Yeah, I couldn't hit her, or I'd be dead.

Curly-haired boys are the cutest, right? :D
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:iconhappyhippy-sorcha-xd:
There's a guy I know like that. I can't help but want to scream 'give my heart back if you don't want it' at him. He is my everything and I can't help it. He has curls just like you described..and he has the most amazing hair I've ever seen. He knows me but doesn't pay much attention. When he doesn't look at me I want to curl up and die. Sometimes I wish she would more far, far away and never come back. But it's not gonna happen..I have to pick myself up and pretend I don't love him..pretend I haven't loved him for a whole year..

Life sucks for the girl on the outside that's always looking in
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:iconcalixlove:
~CalixLove Oct 14, 2010  Student Writer
That's exactly how I feel.... :hug:
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:iconhappyhippy-sorcha-xd:
Yeah...it's gonna be ok though! Promise
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:iconcalixlove:
~CalixLove Oct 16, 2010  Student Writer
Aww, thanks! :hug:
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